How to Throw a Molotov Cocktail
It was a day like any other, just hanging around town, bored.
Thats when I decided that I would try to collect one of every video
game system ever made.
I head down to Gamestop (or Funcoland as it was called in those times)
and lo and behold, what I came across was actually a bed and breakfast.
I ask the guy behind the desk where I could find some used games, and
I’m in luck, turns out he has an old NES in his basement that
can have, I just have to go down and get it myself.
So I head down into his basement, and after navigating the maze like
clutter come across the NES, which was enshrined in the deepest level
of the basement. After defeating the possessed suit of armor that was
protecting the NES, I was warped back to the lobby, where the guy told
me that there was an old game system store in the city to the north.
After traversing a long highway, I came to Sheff City just as the night
was beginning. A bustling metropolis built on a wooden dock hanging
over the side of a cliff.
I was hungry at this point, so I went to the local deli, only to find
Bill Gates’ little sister (who became president of MS after
had a seizure from watching Pokemon) harassing the clerk about her
I intervened, and after Ms. Gates offered me an overpriced XBox (I
decided to wait for a price drop) and then swore revenge and
disappeared in a typical RPG like fashion. I take my sandwich and head
down to Nintendo World to see what Nintendo systems I can pick up.
Turns out the place was closed because it was being renovated into a
Pokemon specialty store. Damn.
Next stop was the Sony Metreon, which actually turned out to be a
satanic temple at which brainwashed cultists worshiped a giant PS2.
Talking to the demonic priest, he agreed to give me a free PS2 if I
joined. I agreed, and after giving me the PS2, I renounced my
membership, and ran out with said system in tow before he could ask for
With two systems now in my collection, i went next door to the Sega
world headquarters, which was a gigantic skyscraper. I went in hoping
that they would have Dreamcast and some other Sega systems that I could
pick up, but while I was taking the tour, the evil Microsoft troops
commanded by Ms. Gate’s invaded the building.
Ms. Gates recognized me from the deli and sent her Samurai guards on
me. I was no match for them, and they threw me out the window.
I regained awareness shortly after in the town’s inn, as
adventurers typically do. The girl who was by my side taking care of me
told me that I fell from the building, which Microsoft had taken over.
On my way out, I met up with a dude named Brian. He was mad that
Microsoft was trying to take over the Sega building, so he joined what
became known as “my party”. We found a utility
that allowed us access to beneath the city, and we snuck into the
captured Sega headquarters from below.
We made our way up the tower, freeing hostages and taking down grunt
level Microsoft guards. We eventually came across the famous Jay and
Silent Bob, who were hiding for cover in a cubicle.
For saving them, they rewarded us with a book called How to Throw a
Molotov Cocktail. They said that they would have used it themselves,
but they couldn't read.
Continuing up the tower, we came to the Swanky Penthouse containing the
office of Sega’s worldwide president, a man in a sombrero and
colorful poncho known only as Sènior Sega.
Ms. Gates was holding Sènior Sega hostage, and having
enough, me and Brian challenged her, but unfortunately she instead took
to killing off Sènior Sega and summoning a boss robot on us.
Using our newfound ability to throw molotov cocktails we made short
work of said robot, and after collecting our EXP, we checked on
Sènior Sega, who turned out to still be alive!
Unfortunately however, his pocket protector immediately started to
leak, which somehow caused him to die for real this time. However,
while searching the Sega executive’s body we discovered a key
which lead to the roof of the Sega building.
Using the key, we advanced to the roof, and boarded the evil airship of
the Microsoft corporation.
However, I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I
came here to tell how it's going to begin.
I'm going to hang up this rant, and then show these people what you
don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A
world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where
anything is possible.
Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you, because its not
about you or me, its about Wii, and together, Wii will change
Back to STSH - Creations